In dreams…

“If I don’t accomplish what I set out to do today, I will accomplish tomorrow in another body, from another perspective in another time and through the eyes of another life.” ~Leora

It occurred to me in a dream, these thoughts of a past life…

August 2019 ~ I often wonder if the sadness that I feel is coming from another place in time. Where do these tears brim from on such a beautiful day? Residuals from a broken heart, a lost love, a sick child, worry of the future or simply from a memory of a sad, romantic movie that I once saw? Are these tears of sadness and melancholy even mine? Stored deep in my molecular memory, does this sadness belong to a distant ancestor or an echo of lives past? an unfathomable heartache of a shackled slave, reduced to a beaten, frightened animal, watching his homeland disappear in the distance horizon from a foreign ship? A grandmother mourning the loss of her children in the grey, ashen fields of the Holocaust? Or is it the heaviness and anxiety of the planet that I feel? The sadness of pollution, chaos, war, death and horror drifting through the atmosphere like the stink of a dead carcass? Where does it arise from? I wonder, does it really matter?

Its simply my turn to hold this sadness in my own heart, a war wound of life of myself and others. I whisper to my Soul, “never forget in this life or the next how precious the gift of sunlight is on my face, a birds song in the meadow, the whisper of the trees and the softness of the grass under my feet or the memory of the laughter of my children”. Never forget I whisper as I sit in the morning sun, the gift of THIS LIFE. My world of peace with beauty all around me in so many ways. But for now in this moment, I breathe and honor the echoed memories, the sad tears, the heavy weight of life. Understanding that in my melancholy it is my turn with many, many collective others to hold this space of sadness, to hold the burden of a weary soul, and a weary world for a few moments in time.