Shadow Work

Shadow Work

Perhaps I’m not breaking down.
Perhaps… I’m breaking open.

The numbness, the irritability, the lack of tolerance—it’s not evidence that something is wrong with me. It’s evidence that I’m human.

These feelings are natural responses to what I’ve held—consciously and unconsciously—for years. This frozen state is my body’s protective shield. It’s how my nervous system says, “Let’s survive this.”

I’ve been going inward. Quiet. Still.
And that is not dysfunction. That is the wisdom of my body. That is the love of my soul.

I think I’m in a trauma freeze response—a sacred pause of rest and repair. And yet, I keep returning to flow states: painting, writing, music, consulting.

These are my safe spaces. These are where I feel again. Where I process without needing to explain.

Maybe this is what it means to thaw.
To emerge, slowly, in my own time.

This emotional unraveling is not collapse. It’s the quiet in-between of transformation. A reforming of who I am, after years spent caring for others, grieving my parents, and now confronting my own mortality.

I’m not avoiding. I’m aware.
I’m creating from the pain.
I’m questioning from a place of honesty.
I’m doing inner shadow work.

Maybe… just maybe…
That means my older, wiser self is awake and watching. Guiding. Holding the lantern.