After weeks of loading a tall laundry basket with considered items of clothing, jackets, summer scarves, proper but cute underwear, hats, snacks, foot care & first aid supplies, the ever-essential wool socks, and spending hours sorting and eliminating the weighted and unnecessary, I decided that it was time to load up and try on my trusty old friend, my backpack with ALMOST everything that I’ll NEED on a 6-week walk through Spain. It weighed 26 excruciating pounds and it was not yet fully packed with EVERYTHING that I thought I’d need.
It does not go unnoticed and not unlike my backpack, I myself am older, heavier, and a bit frayed around the edges…sigh. Am I really doing this? Am I really planning to walk 534 miles in 6 weeks to recalibrate on a solo adventure? Why? When armchair travel and online therapy are steadily available from the comfort of…well, my armchair.
After a couple of covid years, broken heart grief, and a coveted, deliciously, lazy winter of hibernation in northeast eastern Pennsylvania, Netflix binges, comfort foods, whisky walks, and amazing sex while falling in love under the cover of blankets and manchego cheese, my backpack did not feel so friendly, in fact, it was heavy as fuck and seemed to have taken on a snarky attitude as well. I swear I heard it chuckle a sassy reminder not to forget the package of mini dark peanut butter cups, that I actually threw in my pile of “taking with me”.
As I reevaluate the word “Need” and what it is that I actually need in my backpack, it begins… The Strange Road to Santiago starts to poke. The questions aren’t really about what you need or don’t need in your backpack is it?
Come, come, it is time for a walk along the mystical road.. let’s talk about these things, these questions, ideas, thoughts, and ponderings. Tell me, whispers Santiago, how have you been since the last we met? Who have you become, and what have the last seven years given and taken from you? Tell me, Sweet Le’, What is it that you truly need?
Right now, I don’t know the answer to that question without digging deep.
What I do know is that I want to be healthy as long as I can be, smiling and vibrant on my deathbed as I look back on a life well lived.
el Mar Cantábrico ~ a walk along the coast of Spain
Journal Excerpts ~ Camino de Santiago 2023 ~ Slow Down and Smell the Flowers
Shadows and Reflections ~Journel ramblings Camino del Norte 2023
Onward to Pamplona, Spain~ Camino de Santiago 2016
Camino de Santiago May 30, 202- Camino del Norte ~Summer 2023 
I wrote this in my journal 5 years ago today while hiking across Spain on the old pilgrim trail called the Camino de Santiago. – DW –
“Camino Lesson of the Day
The one thing that everyone that hikes the Camino de Santiago does is to start out carrying too much stuff with us in our packs. There is nothing like walking miles and miles with a loaded backpack to help you figure out what is really important enough to carry on your back day after day, mile after mile.
Something I heard along the way has really stuck with me and I was thinking about it today. They say that “We carry our fears in our backpacks”. In other words if you are afraid that you will run out of food and go hungry then you carry too much food. If you are afraid of freezing then you carry too many clothes. If you fear not being able to find a place to sleep then you load yourself down with a tent and camping equipment. Of course all this extra stuff is heavy, which makes us tired and sore and often causes injuries. The soreness and pain make us irritable and cranky and often that is what our fellow hikers see. They don’t see the real us! They are seeing the result of the pain caused by carrying our fears and too much junk in our backpack.
I was thinking today about how a lot of the excess baggage that we carry around with us in life is the result of our fears. Also how all of us have had things that have happened in our past that has impacted us in a negative way. These fears and bad experiences often cause us to behave and react to life and the people in it the way we do.
Just like a backpacker that is carrying stuff that is not needed or serves no real purpose, we keep lugging around things that we should have dumped long ago. The result is that the people in our lives do not get to see the real us. They don’t get the best of us. Many times they are on the receiving end of the pain caused by the useless junk we are carrying around with us. Often, we have been hauling it around for so long that we have started to believe that it is part of who we are.
Maybe it is time to do what all of us backpackers end up doing along the way on a long walk. Unpack our overloaded personal backpacks and what we are carrying around every day with us. Examine each item honestly, determine if we actually need it or not and if it is really serving a purpose. If not then leave it behind and move on.
Turning loose of something is hard, even if it is of no value because we have been carrying it for so long and we have convinced ourselves that we are not whole without it. Once we have the courage to make the decision to dump whatever is hindering us in our life, walk away from it and start moving forward, we end up wondering why we were carrying it to begin with.
Lighten your load, get rid of the fears and useless junk from the past, and let the real you walk free!”
~ Dennis Welton ~
(Artwork by Perry Taylor)
Thru soulful eyes 